i am finishing up my two-year-long substitute teaching career this week, and i am thrilled to be almost done. as i sit here in freshmen geography listening to 15-year-olds debate the merits of the death penalty, i can actually feel my brain dissolving into a pool of useless goo. except for the $400 worth of electronic equipment in the backpack of each pubescent moron, i am constantly amazed at how little has changed in the world of high school since i attended 15 years ago.
Erin and i went and watched the movie 17 Again last night, and i realized that, not only do i have no desire to re-live the late 90s, but even if i had an opportunity to "do it all over again" nothing would be that different. you would look as you did when you were 17, you would be treated the same way, the kids are in the same cliques with the same insults and insecurities. everything would seem tedious and dull, again.
you would know better and you're smarter, but that would just cause a severe case of claustrophobia and frustration. and being smarter than a high school student doesn't help people relate to high school students. if it did, maybe parents would have better relationships with their teens. i think the only part of me that apparently doesn't mind being 17 again is my chin, since i've had more zits in the last month than i have had in 11 years.
just thinking about going back seems sad and depressing. if high school was the highest point in your life, what does that make the rest of your life? you wouldn't even want to seduce the captain of the football team anymore because he would be SEVENTEEN, and the thought of sex with a 17-year-old child makes most sane people cringe. and if you are insane, and that barely legal action still appeals to you, talk about the most disturbing, awkward, skinny, fumbling, 15 seconds of your life.
many of us had great fun in high school, because we were 17 for the first and only time. there is a reason we're not a bunch of benjamin buttons. keep moving forward, folks. from what i've heard, things keep getting better and better. well, at least 45 seconds better, anyway.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
going legit, sort of
i am getting a job. it's a semi-fake job, but it is a job. something i can do to give my life a little bit more structure and a little bit less of watching entire television series between going to paris and going to the gym. sure, i still plan on going to paris and going to the gym, but now those in-between hours will be filled with work (i would call it 'paid' work, but it is barely paid) instead of Weeds.
some people do fine in a world without structure. they make projects for themselves, cultivate an active social life, volunteer, and do all manner of other activities. i am really struggling in this structureless environment. i am volunteering, coaching, subbing, travelling, finishing up my master's degree, keeping things organized at home, studying spanish, and still i find hours where i feel a little bit unorganized, unmotivated, and uninspired. is getting a job the answer? i have no idea.
what i do know is this: the grass is always greener. you always want what you can't have. and all things in moderation. i've had too much of this free-time gluttony for now. it's time to take a job, if for nothing else to give me the appreciation for what i once had.
some people do fine in a world without structure. they make projects for themselves, cultivate an active social life, volunteer, and do all manner of other activities. i am really struggling in this structureless environment. i am volunteering, coaching, subbing, travelling, finishing up my master's degree, keeping things organized at home, studying spanish, and still i find hours where i feel a little bit unorganized, unmotivated, and uninspired. is getting a job the answer? i have no idea.
what i do know is this: the grass is always greener. you always want what you can't have. and all things in moderation. i've had too much of this free-time gluttony for now. it's time to take a job, if for nothing else to give me the appreciation for what i once had.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
the contest
i was asked if i thought i'd travelled more in these past two years than anyone else in my peer group. honestly, i think i've done pretty well, but when talking with most people around here, it seems we all travel quite a bit. i just tend to talk about it more and do it at regular intervals. i also tend to go to many cities in one trip.
because of my extreme Type A tendencies, i decided to start a running catalogue. my goal in moving to england was to go on one trip per month (average) hoping for 32-36 trips in three years. so far i am reaching those goals nicely. here is my tally so far -- number indicates overnight trip, cities during trip next to number, "A" for airport.
Updated Nov. 7, 2010
because of my extreme Type A tendencies, i decided to start a running catalogue. my goal in moving to england was to go on one trip per month (average) hoping for 32-36 trips in three years. so far i am reaching those goals nicely. here is my tally so far -- number indicates overnight trip, cities during trip next to number, "A" for airport.
Updated Nov. 7, 2010
- london
- canterbury, dover
- venice (A)
- tonbridge, hever
- sevilla, granada, marbella, nerja, gibraltar (A)
- hong kong, chengdu, tongren (A)
- k-town, portland (A)
- dublin, cashel, killarney (A)
- amsterdam (A)
- brugge
- rome (A)
- edinburgh
- mannheim
- boleslawiec (A)
- naples (A)
- prague (A)
- dublin (A)
- san francisco, santa rosa (A)
- brugge
- florence, pisa (A)
- portland, k-town, boise, CDA, las vegas (A)
- the cotswolds, stratford-upon-avon, warwick
- rome, amalfi (A)
- istanbul, ephesus, mykonos, santorini, crete, alexandria, gisa, corfu, olympia, athens (A)
- stonehenge, salisbury (day trip)
- zurich, lucerne, interlaken, murren (A)
- provence (A)
- bath
- copenhagen (A)
- madrid, segovia, avila, toledo (A)
- london
- paris
- rothenburg, bavaria, munich (A)
- wales
- kas, turkey (A)
- scotland (A)
- yorkshire
- boise (A)
- normandy, brugge
- heidelberg (A)
- morocco (A)
- krakow (A)
- chiavenna, italy (A)
- london
- las vegas (A)
- norway (A)
- south africa, zambia (A)
- washington, d.c., las vegas, oregon, road trip to north carolina (A)
- romania (A)
- red sea, egypt (A)
- brugge
Open publication - Free publishing
Thursday, April 9, 2009
brush with royalty
i've seen The Queen!
a few months ago, it was advertised in the local paper that the HM The Queen would be visiting BSE for Maundy Thursday, some random royal tradition where at a mid-morning cathedral church service she gives money to old people who do volunteer work. she gives little coin purses full of cash to as many men and women as years old she is (83 men, 83 women this year) on the Thursday before Easter.
i marked it in my diary, expecting my embossed invitation to arrive by royal courier. it never did. so i decided that i would try to go out and see her drive by, at the very least.
then the newspaper reported that there would be "very little" opportunity to see her, as she was popping in the church, crossing the street for lunch, and then back on the road for some other royal engagement. so i lost hope.
as i was cooking lunch this Maundy Thursday, i saw little girls and boys walking by my window with their teeny Union Jacks, headed home after having been flag-waving, loyal subjects when Q arrived. i put my dreams of seeing The Queen to bed.
an hour later I headed downtown to pick up my bike from the shop. and who should be rounding the corner in her black limo with the full Hot Fuzz escort? HM The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh themselves! i stopped by the barricade and gave a wave, and she waved back! no shit, there were only me and a man and his son on our part of the street, and she waved at US!
of course i didn't have my camera. why would i have taken my camera to pick up my bike? doh!
a few months ago, it was advertised in the local paper that the HM The Queen would be visiting BSE for Maundy Thursday, some random royal tradition where at a mid-morning cathedral church service she gives money to old people who do volunteer work. she gives little coin purses full of cash to as many men and women as years old she is (83 men, 83 women this year) on the Thursday before Easter.
i marked it in my diary, expecting my embossed invitation to arrive by royal courier. it never did. so i decided that i would try to go out and see her drive by, at the very least.
then the newspaper reported that there would be "very little" opportunity to see her, as she was popping in the church, crossing the street for lunch, and then back on the road for some other royal engagement. so i lost hope.
as i was cooking lunch this Maundy Thursday, i saw little girls and boys walking by my window with their teeny Union Jacks, headed home after having been flag-waving, loyal subjects when Q arrived. i put my dreams of seeing The Queen to bed.
an hour later I headed downtown to pick up my bike from the shop. and who should be rounding the corner in her black limo with the full Hot Fuzz escort? HM The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh themselves! i stopped by the barricade and gave a wave, and she waved back! no shit, there were only me and a man and his son on our part of the street, and she waved at US!
of course i didn't have my camera. why would i have taken my camera to pick up my bike? doh!
Monday, April 6, 2009
a visit from the milkman
what perfect timing. i am home alone today and was beginning to be a bit sullen about it. oh, lonely, lonely me. when, "ding, dong," the milkman visits. now most of you sex-starved friends of mine would automatically jump to the conclusion that he was young and handsome, blu
e eyes, perfect smile. of course you'd imagine him wearing no shirt to show off his tanned biceps and chiseled six-pack. those abs developed from long days wrestling steers and bucking hay bales...hello? are you still paying attention? please remember that i live in england.
my milkman was a pudgy 40-something dude with bad teeth that was only interested in delivering fresh dairy milk to my door every other morning. despite my lack of physical attraction to this british milkman, i was so happy to finally sign up for milk deliveries. i am so charmed by england and its narrow streets, crooked houses, hedge-rowed-milkman-sporting countryside. it makes me want to give everyone a big smooch, except for my milkman. maybe the postman is cuter?
e eyes, perfect smile. of course you'd imagine him wearing no shirt to show off his tanned biceps and chiseled six-pack. those abs developed from long days wrestling steers and bucking hay bales...hello? are you still paying attention? please remember that i live in england.my milkman was a pudgy 40-something dude with bad teeth that was only interested in delivering fresh dairy milk to my door every other morning. despite my lack of physical attraction to this british milkman, i was so happy to finally sign up for milk deliveries. i am so charmed by england and its narrow streets, crooked houses, hedge-rowed-milkman-sporting countryside. it makes me want to give everyone a big smooch, except for my milkman. maybe the postman is cuter?
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