- luring me with cheap, delicious chocolate (although i could say that Halloween and Easter are equally culpable.)
- embarrassing the shit out of me when i accidentally gave a 'personalized' valentine card to the boy that no one had a crush on in fourth grade instead of the boy i actually had a crush on. (turns out, the other boy didn't say anything and the big crush declared his love for someone else that day, so i guess this can be seen as a draw, and is mostly my fault, not V Day's.)
- shoving FTD commercials so far up my hoo haa that i do finally wonder when the last time i actually received a bouquet of flowers was. (it has been awhile. hint, hint).
- unfairly leading single people to believe that they are the "only ones" left single, making them feel like they're in a romance Death Valley and are more likely to get hit by a car than get laid this fiscal year. (untrue, friends! keep the faith! i know V-Day isn't doing you any favors.)
- setting expectations that can be unrealistic, especially for my man who also has my birthday in the same week. (poor fella.)
but i'm not. although i hate the sickening heart-and-cupid-filled aisle in the supermarkets that show up the week after Christmas, i just remind myself that i also hated the Santa hats and reindeer wrapping paper that popped up in stores in late October, too. and i still love Christmas.
Valentine's Day, as it is, is mostly crap. but Valentine's Day does have its place. who didn't love the cupcake parties in elementary school and getting a bouquet of red roses for the very first time? i also love conversation hearts, escapism through romantic comedies that seem to come out this time of year, the aforementioned chocolate, and a little reminder to say an extra 'i love you' to my huzzy, family, and friends.
i think the biggest danger of Valentine's Day, or any sort of love-related consumer behavior, is starting to believe that what happens to you on Valentine's Day is somehow a testament to the actual love in your life. i know, this is totally obvious to those of us who have had both Valentine's Days full of roses sent to the office and romantic dinners, or just a quick phone call or e-mail (xoxo), or nothing at all because one of us was far, far away. regardless of how we've spent february 14, we remain confident in our love for each other and in all of the love in our lives.
but apparently it isn't always this way. the reason i was thinking about this was because i went and saw the movie "Valentine's Day" with a couple of girlfriends this weekend. one of the characters had this to say on the topic:
"Love doesn't exist for some people unless it's acknowledged in front of others."
it reminds me of that old question, when you're talking aloud about your rationale for doing something, justifying it vehemently to someone and they ask, "Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?"
so, getting that bottle of expensive perfume may be the most romantic thing he's ever done for you, and happily sharing that with those who love you, who will be happy for you, too, is lovely. but then spraying it all over your office mates, gushing about how great he is, posting in on Facebook, sending out a freaking emergency broadcast message, makes me wonder just a teensy bit about why the heck you feel the need to do so.
it isn't me you should be gushing on; go gush on him. it isn't the entire FB community you need to convince that he is madly in love with you; it's you!
(besides it isn't nice to make all of your single friends, or those with neanderthal partners feel bad because that's not how they roll. maybe they haven't found their V-Day groove yet.)
so, next year, do your V-Day thing. enjoy the love. enjoy each other, but before you go out smothering your unsuspecting cube-mates with the heart-shaped pillow of love, ask yourself whether your energies might be better spent smothering, with your naked body, the person that made you feel so special in the first place.
