after putting in a three-part, 40-square-foot container garden with seven tomato plants, peas, broccoli, lettuce, carrots, radishes, cauliflower, squash, peppers, and herbs aplenty, i am sad and depressed to report that i am now the proud owner of THE $500 salad -- one bowl of delicious mixed-greens, a cup of peas, and a single (1) tomato.
my broccoli died. my cabbage was eaten by bugs, turtles, and bunnies. my cauliflower died. my peas died. the blossoms all fell off the squash and pepper plants before they could produce fruit. the tomatoes fell over (not dead yet!). the carrots, herbs and corn are stunted.
after the soils, seeds, plants, hoses, buckets, trowels, and sweat equity, the ROI on HH Gardening 2011 is piss poor. i'd have better luck finding edible calories through dumpster diving at this point.
on the flip side, all of my non-edible plants are going gangbusters. i've got oriental lilies, gladiola the size of a kindergartner, gardenia, hydrangea, azalea, wildflowers (poppies, bachelor buttons, daisies), dahlia, petunia, geranium, verbena, day lily, hosta, and sunflowers. the yard smells like the armpit of The Body Shop and looks fabulous.
so, here's the deal for all of you veggie green-thumbs - i'll bring the centerpiece to our post-apocalypse thanksgiving if you'll feed me.
p.s. the season isn't over yet, so maybe i'll get a $25 teaspoon of pesto out of it to bring along, too.
