thai fish sauce honey chipotle barbecue

i rushed home from work thursday to do some prep work for thursday and friday night dinner. thursday -- thai beef with lime, fish sauce, green beans, and onions. friday -- chipotle honey barbecue chicken with black beans. i chopped, diced, and put everything in the fridge and headed out to meet the girls for a cosmo. on my way out the door my lovely, lovely husband calls and offers to make dinner when he gets home.

"ok," i say, "the beef is in the fridge, just score it with a knife, and grill for six minutes on each side. the beans, drop them in a pot of boiling water for three minutes. the sauce is all made up, it's sitting on top of the steak. just mix that with the --"

"i can read the recipe," Dan cuts me off.

"but, you need to score the beef, do you know what that means? so it doesn't curl on the grill? and rub it with some olive oil, too. i've already whisked everything -- you'll see that on the --"

"i got it; i got it." famous last words.

harley and i arrive home just in time to discover that dan has mixed the thai asian fish sauce with the honey chipotle barbecue sauce. demolishing two dinners worth of sauce and creating a fusion never dreamed of on the food network.

i was beside myself. "you could read the recipe??!"

"well, i thought that this chili paste meant --"

"it says 1/2 teaspoon! what would make you add two cups of barbecue sauce?"

"well i didn't read that part, i --"

"what am i going to do tomorrow, i used up all the ingredients to make that one batch?"

"well, uh, i...."

he was feeling pretty low, and i was ranting and raving about him "boying" up my best laid plans.

and the worst part: it was delicious.

my poor liver

we went to scotland.

yeah.

for me, the best part about touring, anywhere really, is eating and drinking what is locally produced in that region. i always seek out restaurants that locally source their cuisine, and generally the food comes with a locally sourced libation, too. as dan is reading every informational sign and sloooooowwwly strolling through every room in any museum, i am flipping through my various guidebooks or asking a stranger about the best place to eat nearby. i would much rather see the Colosseum from a cafe terrace than a three hour tour.

as i look back on my life on the whole, i feel like i owe an apology to my poor liver. not only my general freewheeling lifestyle, but the added burden of excessive travel can't be good for me.

dear liver, i'm sorry for the whisky in scotland, the lager in turkey, the hefeweizen in germany, the wine in france, the sangria in spain, the schnapps in switzerland, the pilsner in prague, the vodka in poland, the baijiu in china, the lambic in belgium, the ale in england, the "coffee" in amsterdam (hmmm...sorry lungs, on that one), the ouzo in greece, the lemoncello in italy, the margaritas in vegas, the guinness in dublin, and 1998-present.

but don't worry, MOM. all things in moderation.

especially moderation.