is cuddling possible?

after a long absence from one's partner, there is a tendency to idealize the reunion -- it will surely be chalked full of engaging conversation and comfortable silence, laughs of things forgotten and familiar about each other, additional extracurricular activities, and hours of cuddling. i have found 75 percent of this to be true; however, i have concluded after years of research that cuddling is in fact an impossible activity perpetuated by Hollywood and Hallmark.

i have an interesting inability to regulate my own body temperature, i.e. i am the same temperature as my immediate surroundings within 45 seconds, and dan is a personal furnace walking around warming the air around him. you'd think this would be good as he could keep me warm.

oh no. as he sleeps on his back, and me on my side, i try to casually drape my arm across his chest in a cuddly goodwill way, and within two minutes, my arm is en fuego, melting into him. we sit on the couch watching a movie and i lean into him, his arm around me. after a few minutes i shift positions. and then a few minutes more another shift. by the end of the previews, the only part of my body touching his is when we accidentally reach for the glass of ice water at the same time.

and the ultimate -- spooning. we don't have the heat on in our bedroom, even though the windows are drafty and the outside temperature is regularly dropping into the 30s at night. with only a couple of light blankets on the bed, you'd think it would be the perfect spoon environment. oh, hell no.

but we keep trying. me on my side, he scoots up next to me as i am usually freezing. he drapes his arm over my hips. minutes pass. i warm up. he's putting out 4,000 BTUs of heat. suddenly our legs are a pool of lava, and because of our unique position, my fine neck hairs are sporting icicles as a cold rush of air hits me every time he exhales. i have my head in the freezer and my legs in the oven! arrgh! i squirm away, he rolls over.

these days we sleep comfortably together, knowing cuddling is impossible and we shouldn't feel bad for failing at it, completely intertwined from the ankles down.