heightened security

so i have two passports. like a super-secret international spy, except not that cool. anyway, one of my passports houses my UK visa documents and the other is for personal travel. i have to carry both of them because i "personally travel" out of the UK on trips and "officially re-enter" the UK with my visa.

so the other day, i travelled with dan and his parents over the channel to france. i was juggling all of our passports as we exited the ferry port and went through french border security. in my haste, i inadvertently handed the nice french girl sherry's passport, steve's passport, holly's passport, and holly's other passport. she glanced through the passports quickly as a long line of cars queued up behind us. suddenly she runs off, yells something in french to another french person, he hands her what turns out to be the entrance stamp, she stamps the four passports, gives us a funny look, and passes them back to me through the window. au voir! merci!

as i was shuffling through the documents to put them back in the appropriate wallets, i noticed my mistake. holy crap, i have entered france twice and dan hasn't entered france at all.

there was no way to rectify our mistake as i didn't want to explain my super-spy status to someone in a foreign language that i don't speak (especially since half of the english border agents don't understand why i have two passports, and we share a language), we couldn't turn around on the four-lane, one-way street leaving the ferry port, and i didn't want to be sent to french prison. so we kept on.

as we were leaving france a few days later, no one seemed to give a crap that dan hadn't ever entered france.

so much for increased security measures.

update

my in-laws visited.
for two weeks.

we took them to normandy.

and brugge.

and cambridge.

and...that about sums it up.

british kitty hates america

maybe she's worried that, when we move back, the american kitties might beat her up because of her funny accent. or maybe she was just giving the flag a big hug...with her teeth.

what's wrong with this picture

remember those pages in the Highlights kids magazine that had a picture and you had to go and pick out all the things that were out of place? like a dog wearing shoes or a banana as a door handle? well, as i do some of the most normal things during my america visit, i realize that they would be completely impossible in an english picture. for example:

• i am driving down a 5-lane road at 7 p.m. i come to a stoplight and realize that my sunglasses are missing a screw. i see a walgreens ahead, pull in, and buy an eyeglass repair kit for $2.99.
• in england: there are no 5-lane city streets, there are few stoplights, you rarely wear sunglasses, and there is no way that a pharmacy would be open anytime after 5:30 p.m., much less actually have what you are looking for.
• i am getting ready to go out in the bathroom, blow drying my hair and putting on some makeup when i realize i need to use the toilet. when the business is done, i flush and not everything disappears. so i flush again. and voila!
• in england: you can't get ready in the bathroom because there are no plugs for your hairdryer and no counter space to spread out your makeup and the mirror is the size of a dinner plate. you can't flush the same toilet twice in 10 minutes.
• as i write this, i am in a coffee shop with free wi-fi talking about college football with some complete strangers.
• in england: wi-fi is only free at libraries, people don't understand college football, and complete strangers would think you were insane if you began a conversation with them, i know from experience.
• i was waiting for a friend at a fast-food mexican restaurant where we needed to eat inside because it was too hot to eat outside. as we were eating, some dude walked in and sat at the table next to us wearing his 9mm strapped to a belt holster. he was not a cop.
• well, aside from heat and the lack of good tacos, this scenario seems just a little bit f*ed up for anyplace.

maybe i shouldn't have come here. i miss so much about america that i was actually lusting after full-size dishwashers during a trip to best buy. i wonder how long my love affair will last once i am back in suburbia eating at olive garden and having to drive to the cinemas and drink at a crappy bar on a saturday night? i have a feeling that the grass is always going to be greener. off to the old country in the morning for a pint of cask ale in a cozy pub with my friends...

deep, deep, deep, dark, deep, dark pit

yeah. it's devastating. i've been a duck fan when the ducks totally suck and lose a bunch of easy games and then go to the seattle bowl and get their asses kicked by BYU or UTEP or something. i've seen horrible offense. i've seen crappy QBs and RBs and something similar to the South Eugene High School as the defensive line.

we've suffered through losing seasons (although, not 28 consecutive ones from 1978-1998, so i am not that pro at dealing with it. maybe i'll ask my OSU friends how they coped for so many years). anyway, the point is, it is absolutely horrific what happened to the university of oregon, its fans, its alumni, its football team, and its national reputation, such as it was anyway.

i was so upset as "the punch" was replayed over and over above the blue turf. especially after the boise state fans had been so gracious to us as we cruised in our green and yellow through the tailgate parties. i heard more "good lucks" than i've ever heard at a NCAA football game in my entire life. everyone was having real fun and, it seemed, prepared for a real good time.

of course there was some old-fashioned taunting, like when the ducks finally had a first down and the entire crowd joined the visiting section in a standing ovation. and even i had to join in under my breath when the fourth quarter "ov-er-rate-ed" chants began.

but is what happened after the game is a symptom of what is happening everywhere (exception: T. Tebow)? it's fairly obvious that Blount isn't a man under control. he is a gigantic boy out of control. he is a child, from what background and experience, i'm not sure, thrust into D1 semi-super-stardom without the skills to handle himself off the field. whose responsibility is it to help children make this transition into adulthood? possibly parents, and for football players, coaches, too?

i am happy to see him suspended for the rest of the season. his life is changing. hopefully the football program will provide some support so he can graduate (likely?), mature, and get himself under control. it wouldn't be responsible of the university to cut him loose, would it? he's already a loose cannon. or is it OK to use him and lose him when he screws up? or are they teaching them anything besides how to thread a gap? who knows.

i hope this suspension gives him an opportunity for a second chance at starting a life. as we watch all of our saturday games this season, we should remember that these young men are very young. it is remarkable what they do and the pressure they are under. yes, blount is and should be getting the punishment he deserves. maybe they've even been too soft on him. but hopefully it will prevent him from taking the road of maurice clarett.

now, as for the chip kelly era having begun. OH F*$&K.

cultural experience

heh, heh. as we know, my enthusiasm for museums, cathedrals, and other historical or educational sightseeing has been waning at the downward slope of an olympic ski jump ramp. swoosh. i'd rather eat cardboard than go to the louvre again in the next 18 months.

but i haven't given up on culture entirely. i still like reading, food, drink, and events. theatre, markets, gatherings, festivals, and the like.

recently we attended the local greyhound track. every tuesday and saturday at Mildenhall Stadium (your ticket buys you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge) the professional greyhound trainers turn loose their canine stallions for winnings as high as $50 a race. if the same breeder won every race, they could have a winnings of $600 a night! probably just enough to feed the 12 dogs who won. ha!

it was awesome. fish and chips, havin' a bet, the old country version of white trash, and pints of beer in a rural setting so "easy to find." we one some, we lost some, we drank ale. a smashing time. and we made a few mistakes (like taking a flash photograph of the race in progress), but the brits are so nice that a woman kindly reminded us to not take photographs with flash and then assured us that it was ok we made a small mistake. we wouldn't know unless we were regulars. we can only hope.