pillowesque: 10 reasons why I got a boob job

i finally experienced life as a woman with a B cup when i was pregnant and nursing. previously i had come to a happy balance with my lean frame and perky As, but buying my first B bra at age 32  was so much fun! having them made me laugh and experiment and be a different version of me that finally felt right, so i could...

1. have the experience of trying on a whole bunch of different clothes
2. which made me look in a mirror more, marvel at my body and all of the beautiful ways it was changing
3. which made me know myself a little bit better and be less critical because women's bodies are fierce
4. which made me love myself a little bit more for my strength and capabilities
5. which made me want to masturbate just a little bit more because i deserved joy and everything was on overdrive
6. which made me very happy
7. which made me want to have sex a lot more more
8. which made my relationship stronger, more intimate (and more jiggly, despite this awkward belly in the way)
9. which, from a strong foundation of emotional and physical intimacy, made me feel supported, safe, and capable of being unafraid in the world, accepting intimate friendships, embracing insecurities and finally having the confidence to trust - in myself and my strength, and in others 
10. which allowed me to open my arms, wide, embracing my people and knowing we will all be ok because we have one another.

it's not that those lessons went away - the boobs, the pregnancy, the transformation, the motherhood - they just were part of the journey i took to become the person i am today.

i never thought about getting an augmentation as becoming more beautiful or attractive. i have been more focused on how it felt to physically change when I was pregnant. to have this real, full body that felt so natural and mine. 

after childbirth, i had so much more pride in what my body, and what all women's bodies, are capable of. 

but in my case, the jiggly part went away. And I missed it. It they were terrifically fun. so it was  time for me to make that big embrace just a little more pillowesque.