upgrade, my a$$

i am already a teensy bit age-sensitive -- heightened by my turning 30 in mere days. and i am pretty sure my age karma is in the toilet right now, since i have been making fun of all the old-balls in my household for the past year or so. this bad mo-jo came back around earlier tonight when Budget hit me below the muffin top with a"free upgrade" to my Vegas rental car.

yes, people, for the next six days i'll be driving around fabulous Las Vegas in a brand-new MINI VAN.

i was shocked when the lady behind the counter dropped this bomb on me. holy crap. i am going to look like a soccer mom and i don't even have freaking kids yet! what have i done to deserve this?

and i'm in vegas, of all places! i should have a convertible, a spray tan, and loads of shopping bags piled in the back seat as i cruise the Strip.

"seriously? that's the only thing you have left?"

"yes. ma'am."

"that totally ruins my already iffy image. does it at least have spinners?"

(confused look)

i think she was pissed because i didn't opt for the $47/day extra insurance.

i am NOT driving anyone around in this. i am not happy about having to be seen in it at all. i guess i will just do all of my soccer-mom errands (yes, i haveto drive my Kia Sedona to Babies R Us tomorrow), and hope that i can rebound from this major psychological setback. my ovaries are recoiling in horror just thinking about driving tomorrow.

on the bright side, it is tricked out with power gadgets, iPod USB ports, digital things, safety devices, interior lighting, a heater, and only has 6 miles on it. a far cry from the soldered-together hunk of steel i call "the mini" (which i could comfortably pull into the bag of the MV with its fold-flat seating).

what am i saying? it SUCKS. i am going to go lay behind the rear tires now and hope someone puts me out of my misery.