this place is full of tourists

Once you live in the city for awhile, city things are slowly normalized. 

I haven't left the city, really, for about 8 months, so I forgot what 'Merica was like. 

My first thought when seeing all of these baseball caps, mom jeans, fanny packs, friendly smiles, and Midwestern accents was, "tourists. They're everywhere here." 

But, I'm actually the tourist. 

No one has been a trace ironic. My friends at the classy lounge last night were in town because going to local demolition derbies is their summer hobby. The folks tonight are here because there is a new mall that opened in the neighboring valley and it was a special trip for Father's Day. Someone is drinking Budweiser from a bottle. 

The mo-tel lounge has a pleather barstools. There is exposed brick in my room, but cinder block, not "brick." The breakfast buffet included fried chicken. 

I like it here, as a tourist.

Observations

Walmart

There is one right in the center of the city. I went there. I saw a young gal driving a Prius picking up a case of PBR. So much confusion in my brain. Aren't Prius programmed to avoid Walmart at all cost including self destruction? PBR? Sooo Portland 2004. Let's move on. 

#notinidaho

Young men wearing white button-down shirts, ties, black slacks, bike helmets, and black backpacks while riding bikes down the street are not necessarily Mormon missionaries. Just commuters. Hey! 

Who and where the hell am I?

Yesterday

Walking down H and a guy stops me. I think, "Ugh, no, I don't have any change." But he instead hands me three red roses. I think, "Ugh, no, I don't want to buy roses." He says, "I am fighting with my wife. I tried to give these to her and she refused them. Take them. I want to show her that a woman can accept flowers and be happy." 

I am happy, yet confused. Do emotional manipulation roses have bad karma?

The next guy I see asks me for $20. I offer him roses. He declines. Even Stevens. 

This morning

Typical work from home day. Sell a waterbed to a rhinoceros. You know. Work. 

This afternoon

Rush to Union Station to eat terrible pizza and visit with my cousin and her son during their horrific whirlwind tour of DC and NYC. Why would you torture yourself thus? 

Reminder: Driving is lame. Bus tours are uncomfortable. Teenagers are angsty. 

Tonight

At a burlesque "club" in Chinatown wearing heels and tight pants drinking cosmos. Who is this fancy lady? 

Tomorrow

Anticipating a hangover.