war of the flies

whenever i am home at the same time as Ol' Red, i.e. grandad, Hunt, i like to mooch a breakfast or two. this summer has been especially rewarding, because in addition to the waffle, canteloupe, potatoes, ham, bacon, sweet potatoes, wild mushrooms, coffee, and milk (yes, this is all a single meal), it is huckleberry season! we've had huckleberries and cream, huckleberry pancakes, and homemade huckleberry preserves...mmmm...

well, visiting grandad is an exciting treat. after breakfast he'd discovered an infestation of houseflies in his living room. we later attributed it to his putting the trash in the fireplace for a later burning and forgetting that there was some food remains in there. but i digress....the real action came when we decided to declare an all-out war on the two dozen or so flies.

unfortunately, gramps had somehow melted his flyswat into something resembling modern art, so we went guerrilla. armed with three or four heavy-duty rubber bands, we came at 'em from all angles. gramps is a rubber band sniper. he used to be able to hit my uncle's earlobe from three pews back when he would fall asleep in sunday service. he can knock a quarter out of your fingertips. and if he's being a pest, you better cover your bum.

it was totally awesome. he would shoot and reload -- SPLAT "ah, ha!" he'd say, "i got that ol' bugger. ohhhh, there's another one." -SPLAT- "good riddance, you son-of-a-gun. oh, get 'em, Holly Annie. i think you got that one's leg, i'll finish him off." -SPLAT- "pull back that curtain." -SPLAT- "i think we done 'em in. oh, but now i've gotta clean all the windows!"

kill stats
gramps: 8 kills, 2 wounded
me: 1 kill, 2 wounded