ten-hut!

i somehow have signed up for a 12-week stay at the Single-People Boot Camp-DC, it's the Marine Corps meets Match.com. i've tried to explain that i probably was meant to register for the Lady of Leisure program at Camp Old Cannon Brewery in in England. but since this is a non-refundable program, i'm stuck.

Here's what i know so far:

"SPBC-DC, commonly referred to as Camp C'moniwannalay-ya, is a 12-week summer program where you will learn the ins and outs of the 2010 dating scene. At least five nights per week you will attend engaging excursions where you will be required to mingle with potential suitors. Each event is followed by one-on-one debriefing session with your program cohort partner.

In addition to excursions, you will be offered a variety of workshops, a personalized trainer who leads your mandatory exercise program, the excitement of rooming with other young singles and couples who can serve as mentors and wingmen, and the joy of a perpetual hangover."

sounds like 1999-2004 to me, but with more bicycle miles.

so far my drill sergeant/cohort partner is quite pleased with my progress, except for the actual 'me getting a date' part. i have emphasized that i'm married, so we've re-focused to the 'getting HER a date' part.

it's lucky i have the bike to quickly transport me to all of my events, carefully charted on our shared google calendar, or i would be in big trouble. for example, Monday - dinner at Red Derby; Tuesday - World Cup Kickoff networking; Wednesday - Workshop: Effectively Sending and Receiving E-mails to Secure a Second Date; Thursday - Happy Hour at Poste; Friday - Jazz in the Sculpture Garden...holy crap, I can barely keep up with my own self. we're pretty much booked up until after the Fourth of July...

the mandatory exercise part -- morning runs, biking everywhere, sweating my balls off in this heat -- has already lost me 2 lbs., supposedly increasing my overall match-ability (and i have heard that the guys dig chicks on bikes).

our Saturday workshop was Navigating Your Online Dating World. it turned out to be quite informative. i learned all about profile-writing, checking messages, ranking guys, and (very important) vetting out un-dateable guys who include:

• including anyone under 27
• anyone living in MD or VA
• anyone who looks like a douche (wife-beater or moustache are immediately out)
• anyone who "winks" or "waves" instead of getting the balls up to write a personal message
• anyone who has no job
• anyone who has joined in the last three weeks (read: i just broke up with someone recently)
• anyone who has glamour shots of himself on the site (waivers acceptable for some candidates)
• anyone who is too snarky or painfully funny in profile text
• anyone hideous
• and anyone who has already been e-mailed and never responded because our profile didn't meet their requirements

who did that leave: Thom and Iceman (code names).

Thom has potential, but a dumb name. first date went well. now i am helping craft banter-y e-mails to try and score a second date. i am getting personally vested in living vicariously here at 'camp.' (my writing skills, my honest wingman opinion, and an iPhone are the positive things i bring to this relationship.) hopefully the second date is on Google Calendar by tomorrow...

tonight we might craft a message to Iceman (fingers crossed!).

next post: Inside an SPBC-DC Workshop: The 2010 Rules of Dating (for all of those who stopped buying after the 2000 version came out)