going legit, sort of

i am getting a job. it's a semi-fake job, but it is a job. something i can do to give my life a little bit more structure and a little bit less of watching entire television series between going to paris and going to the gym. sure, i still plan on going to paris and going to the gym, but now those in-between hours will be filled with work (i would call it 'paid' work, but it is barely paid) instead of Weeds.

some people do fine in a world without structure. they make projects for themselves, cultivate an active social life, volunteer, and do all manner of other activities. i am really struggling in this structureless environment. i am volunteering, coaching, subbing, travelling, finishing up my master's degree, keeping things organized at home, studying spanish, and still i find hours where i feel a little bit unorganized, unmotivated, and uninspired. is getting a job the answer? i have no idea.

what i do know is this: the grass is always greener. you always want what you can't have. and all things in moderation. i've had too much of this free-time gluttony for now. it's time to take a job, if for nothing else to give me the appreciation for what i once had.