a visit from the milkman

what perfect timing. i am home alone today and was beginning to be a bit sullen about it. oh, lonely, lonely me. when, "ding, dong," the milkman visits. now most of you sex-starved friends of mine would automatically jump to the conclusion that he was young and handsome, blue eyes, perfect smile. of course you'd imagine him wearing no shirt to show off his tanned biceps and chiseled six-pack. those abs developed from long days wrestling steers and bucking hay bales...hello? are you still paying attention? please remember that i live in england.

my milkman was a pudgy 40-something dude with bad teeth that was only interested in delivering fresh dairy milk to my door every other morning. despite my lack of physical attraction to this british milkman, i was so happy to finally sign up for milk deliveries. i am so charmed by england and its narrow streets, crooked houses, hedge-rowed-milkman-sporting countryside. it makes me want to give everyone a big smooch, except for my milkman. maybe the postman is cuter?